What even IS Feminism?

I was raised by a mother who labeled herself a feminist. She would go on and on about how women don't get enough credit for everything they do, and still today don't get the equal treatment that men do in workplaces or home environments. She always hated on males too. My brother and I grew up hearing about how "men are only good for sex and money" and I'm pretty sure it had a very damaging impact on my brother. She would tell him, "Sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of. Snips and snails and puppy dogs tails, that's what little boys are made of." If any male tried challenging my mother in any sort of conversation she would  immediately take it as a sexist act, as if it were not at all possible that this is just one human being challenging another human being's perspective. No, this was war of the sexes to her. She always told me not to trust any men, because they are all liars and cheaters with no agenda other than to make you their house wife and sex slave. This was very interesting considering that my father was the most gentle, kind affectionate husband to her. As I grew older, and met some "real" feminists I realized that a feminist is not a person who hates on males, but someone who just stand up for equal rights and nothing more. A true feminist is someone who wants to be treated with respect, and also gives the same respect they expect to be treated with. Looking at the character, Sylvia from this perspective, I would say she does not give herself that same expectation as the respect that she gives Cloyd. She allows him to yell at her over stupid things, and try to control her lifestyle even to the extent of lying to him about where she goes because she can't be herself. There is nothing feminist about her. She dresses to impress him, and only him. She buys food that she claims as her own because she wants his idea of her to stay as that pretty Mexican house wife who lives only for him and has no respect for herself. This is a sad reality for many females all over the world. Cloyd takes advantage of this because Sylvia is Mexican by tradition and has lost her job. Cloyd knows that he can step in, and be what she relies on and in this way, can tell her exactly what to do, and where to go. She can't even stand up for herself because she wouldn't be able to support her kids or herself if she did not fake a smile and go along with it. Although, some feminists would argue that if she just worked hard enough and went out to try to get another job, she'd be able to in a country like America where it is fairly easy to go out and get a job if you put enough effort into it.