Difficulty Paper #2

The concept of evil in The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne is very prevalent throughout the entire story. The symbols are everywhere and consistently changing. The symbol of "The Black Man" is placed on a few characters who are present. Chillingworth represents evil in that he is a perfect example of how man can fall to their weakness in green envy and anger. Anger is nature's temptation for man to give into. Dimmesdale represents "The Black Man" in that he cannot even acknowledge Pearl to be his daughter in public because he is so ashamed of her. Mistress Hibbins also represents "The Black Man" in that she is a witch who whispers secrets into her brother, Governor Bellingham's ear. Pearl is even looked at in the "black" perspective with the label of "Satan's child" due to the way she was conceived. Accordingly, she is the red that the letter "A" so prominently represents on Hester's clothes. Red starts off being this shameful, evil color which later turns into a symbol of the life and passion with which Hester and Dimmesdale created Pearl with. This is a realization that Hester has and Dimmesdale does not. She looks at Pearl and sees all of that truth and love in her that so few children really had due to how the parents were when conceiving them. There are myths about children who are conceived out of true love and passion in comparison to forced, unnatural creation. The "love" babies have full potential to feel and live in truth in many myths, where as a forced baby created without love might have issues with connecting to their inside emotions. Dark and light symbolism seems to be very prominent in this story even just in the lighting of the day. The darkness of the night represents the insides of the human soul and this is when events happen that humans actually want to happen deep down, but can't necessarily let other members of society be spectators of. It is night time when Hester and Dimmesdale get together secretly to frolic in love, it is night time that Mistress Higgins goes on her secret rides, and it is night time when Dimmesdale runs into Hester and Pearl on the scaffold and Pearl asks him to be there the next day in the sunlight with them and he refuses. She then continues to tell him he will never know the secret about Chillingworth if he does not come out with his own inner secrets that the darkness hides.

Difficulty Paper #1

When I first started reading The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, I must have read about 30 pages before I had to stop, realize that I had no idea what I had just read, and that I had just skimmed over the words with my eyes whilst thinking about everything I needed to do that day. Once I had this frustrating realization, I went back to the beginning, and started over with a brighter light and some coffee in my stomach. The old English is very difficult for me to get hooked with more so than the actual understanding of it. Just because one could understand something does not mean that they soak it up. In reading about the setting of this book I came to remind myself of how much I loathe the Puritan culture and moral ways. All I see is CONTROL CONTROL CONTROL the masses. They bring shame and guilt to every day life, for an individual living in fear and embarrassment will always find ways to either cover it up or make it what is socially known as "better." In this novel, Hester carries her shame of her sin with her everywhere she walks with the "A" being sewn on to her. It has happened all throughout history where a woman has to be married to someone she does not love because of financial and/or status situations. When one is married to another whom they do not love, they are bound to find passion with someone else eventually. Hester just so happened to get pregnant and show proof of this fairly regular happening in history. I find it very interesting and refreshing that Hester chose a very unique route for her time by staying in the Massachusetts Bay Colony with the label she had when she had just as much of a choice to leave and not have to deal with people judging her and treating her differently. An even more surprising situation was the fact that Dimmesdale did not understand this idea of letting go of society's standards and judgments, and he is a man, but Hester, a woman, could create it for herself. Dimmesdale could not fathom the idea that it is important for one to master his own identity instead of letting a townspeople determine it for you. Hester was very intent on taking her sin that she made, and incorporating it into the person she is today. Although it made it easier on her to be outside of town, in the woods to have a bit of peace, it was still her job to separate herself from societal pressures. I like that the symbol "A" changes in the book from "Adultery" to "Able" because she was finally able to come to her own terms of what identity was, instead of a community's idea of her identity.

Annotated Bibliography

Hawthorne, Nathaniel. The Scarlet Letter. New York: London, 2005.

Flowers Final Draft

Jessica Rigby

English 1B MW 1250-210

Paper #1

Loss of Innocence

            Everyone loses their innocence at one point in their life. For most folks it comes at the appropriate time and in the right place for the specific progression. For Sonny, the main character in the novel The Flowers, by Dagoberto Gilb, times were hard from day one, forcing him to understand the dark side of adulthood at an early age. Sonny is a teenage boy, growing up in East Los Angeles, in a not so nice part of town. He started off living in an apartment complex with his mother and sister. His experiences at the complex were a large part with whom he became later. He was raised by a mother who was never home, and neighbors who brought a lot of negative attraction to him. His mother, Sylvia loses her job and meets a man, Cloyd Longpre, who she attaches herself to in order to be able to be stable financially. Cloyd presents himself as a classy business man in a suit and slicked back hair when he first comes into play, but later surprises them with a racist, sexist, selfish influence on both Sonny and his mother.

            The novel starts off with Sonny describing how he breaks into houses just to hang out in another family’s environment. He lounges on the couch, looks at family photos, and will occasionally pocket a dollar or two if he sees it just lying around. When he would relax, he’d go into his own form of meditation, “What would finally come were colors and lines busting through, flying out and off and cutting in, crazy fires and sparks, and it’d come out speeding, and I’d be like a doggie about the window, those lane dividers whiffing by on the freeway straight below an open car window (2).” He enjoys distracting himself with the idea of the way other people live their life.  His life is full of chaos and stress. At one point, a man comes banging on the door of his house looking for his mother when she isn’t home and Sonny prepares himself with a knife. The man busted in, attempted to grab the knife from Sonny, slicing his stomach by accident, and then runs out in fear of legal punishments. This neglect that Sonny deals with is a very huge influence as to why he had to grow up on his own. His mother was always out going to bars and spending evenings with whichever man would help her out for the evening. It is why she always dresses the way she does, like a good house wife from the 50’s.

            The character, Cloyd in the novel was a good example of a male figure that was attempting to get Sonny to grow up fast. The first thing he does when he has Sonny and Sylvia move in with him is make them get rid of their dog, Goofy. Sonny felt as though his mother wasn’t thinking of him at all when he said to himself, “If she didn’t care how I felt, didn’t she care any about Goof? Didn’t she even miss Goofy a little? Didn’t she think I would (37)? Cloyd pretty much came in, took over and tried to show Sonny what it is to be a man. Cloyd’s hobbies include hunting, collecting large trucks, and owning property that he collects money from tenants in. He attempts to keep Sonny busy. He gives him menial jobs like cleaning the laundry room just to fill time. He also talks down to Sylvia in front of Sonny to show him where a woman’s place is and is open about his sexual and cultural stereotypes by calling her his “pretty little Mexican gal.” Cloyd’s ideas of women start to have an impact on Sonny during these crucial changing points in his life.

            Sonny’s ideas of women have been based around a mother who was never home, and when she was home, it was apparent that she cared more about the way she looked and how she seemed to possible men she might be attracting then she did about her children. If this is an example for a child, they might find it difficult to see girls in a good light once hitting puberty. Sonny finally gets his first experience with a girl when he meets Cindy, a 19 year old married housewife who is lonely and wants attention. Her husband, Tino is always out selling drugs and she likes how easy and innocent Sonny is. She takes his virginity and whenever she wants to get her way she “looked her dirty way at me and was going how she was really lonely…”(170) This is a girl who doesn’t mean anything to Sonny. He describes her as being insignificant and just someone who takes up space on this planet. He kind of feels sorry for her in the way that “It was as though I was the only one who ever saw her standing there, because nobody else looked at her, and she didn’t look at or say anything to anybody either (171).” She doesn’t respect her body, mind or soul. Here she is married to a drug dealer, feeding her own body with all kinds of poison, and sharing her soul with complete strangers who are just using her “because I was mad. I knew where to look and I was right (173).” His first experience with a girl is one just like the rest of the acts he pulls through these years: they are something to masque what he is going through. Then he meets Nica, the sweet, innocent young Mexican girl who he falls in love with. He had feelings for her different than he did, Cindy when he says “I didn’t want her like that, as much as I did… (249). This was his beginning to see a different side of women and finally being where he should be instead of rushing into sin or “lusty” adventures with a married woman at such a young, innocent age.

            All in all, Sonny has been through many experiences from having a mother who was never home, to having to figure out what to do or how to feel for a girl that have made him grow up at a very rapid rate. Men who have attempted to toughen him up and change who he is as a person have done nothing but push him further away from who he actually is. His crisis with his identity and maturity get so jumbled and overwhelming that when he finally gets a chance to attack a “sickie dude” that has been following him around for a while, he throws a rock at him, kills him, and gets arrested right there on the street.  This man represents guilt following him. This guilt is his need and want to preserve his innocence. Although life has made some very high hurtles for him to jump in order to keep it, he has done nothing but just push them down and attempt to be mature and move on with it. 

The Story of An Hour- Gender Criticism

"The Story of An Hour" by Kate Chopin fits perfectly in the category of female stereotypes. The protagonist in the story is Louise, the wife of Brently Mallard who was supposedly killed in a train accident. When Loise first hears news that her husband was dead she reacts dramatically by sobbing instead of acting numb in a "storm of grief". She is pretending to act what was expected of women in the late 1800's: emotional, needy and dependent on a man to keep her afloat and together. She is actually crying tears of joy in reality that she had her epiphany of what freedom she newly possessed with this death. When she is alone in her room she continues to cry but it is more just from an automatic reaction because that is everything she is used to in her marriage, and less of a natural genuine reaction. She then has the fantasy of what she would feel like after the funeral of Brantly and her tears stop, and she gets happy thinking about her freedom outside of the metaphorical "window." This doesn't stop her from continuing to act out the woman she needs to fit the mold of to not blow her cover, though so she even goes to the extent of having to hold on to her sister, Josephine's arm down the stairs acting out the weak needy woman. Although she has a bad heart condition, it is mostly from her bad relationship with Brently who is actually keeping Louise from being free. She cries because she can finally be a free, independent woman and not have to answer to any man who doesn't treat her with the respect that a complicated mind such as herself possesses. The crisis is when Brently walks through the door at the end of the story, completely unaware of the fact that there even was an accident, much less that he was supposedly in the accident, and Louise dies on the spot due to a "heart attack of joy." Of course the doctors would announce her death as such because that is what was socially acceptable at the time. A woman would die in honor if she is dying over the joy in the resurrection of her husband. It would not, however be respectable for her to be unhappy finding him to be alive in that she would have to give up her newfound freedom.  It is very interesting how Chopin is very suggestive of the idea in marriages being forced and fony in this story. At the time it was still very common for marriages to be arranged for reasons like money or status. Once a woman was paired with a man, it was then her duty to not only be there, subserviently but to also never speak poorly of her husband. Louise in this story only speaks positively about Brently when she says he was very "joyful and loving" when really he made her cry and feel trapped. This has been happening to women throughout history and still continues to happen today in many households. One would not even guess that a woman is going through complete misery and madness inside her heart and mind if she could just be a good actress like Louise. Acting can only get one so far, though. You might end up dead in your holding back of emotions and opinions for such a long time.

What even IS Feminism?

I was raised by a mother who labeled herself a feminist. She would go on and on about how women don't get enough credit for everything they do, and still today don't get the equal treatment that men do in workplaces or home environments. She always hated on males too. My brother and I grew up hearing about how "men are only good for sex and money" and I'm pretty sure it had a very damaging impact on my brother. She would tell him, "Sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of. Snips and snails and puppy dogs tails, that's what little boys are made of." If any male tried challenging my mother in any sort of conversation she would  immediately take it as a sexist act, as if it were not at all possible that this is just one human being challenging another human being's perspective. No, this was war of the sexes to her. She always told me not to trust any men, because they are all liars and cheaters with no agenda other than to make you their house wife and sex slave. This was very interesting considering that my father was the most gentle, kind affectionate husband to her. As I grew older, and met some "real" feminists I realized that a feminist is not a person who hates on males, but someone who just stand up for equal rights and nothing more. A true feminist is someone who wants to be treated with respect, and also gives the same respect they expect to be treated with. Looking at the character, Sylvia from this perspective, I would say she does not give herself that same expectation as the respect that she gives Cloyd. She allows him to yell at her over stupid things, and try to control her lifestyle even to the extent of lying to him about where she goes because she can't be herself. There is nothing feminist about her. She dresses to impress him, and only him. She buys food that she claims as her own because she wants his idea of her to stay as that pretty Mexican house wife who lives only for him and has no respect for herself. This is a sad reality for many females all over the world. Cloyd takes advantage of this because Sylvia is Mexican by tradition and has lost her job. Cloyd knows that he can step in, and be what she relies on and in this way, can tell her exactly what to do, and where to go. She can't even stand up for herself because she wouldn't be able to support her kids or herself if she did not fake a smile and go along with it. Although, some feminists would argue that if she just worked hard enough and went out to try to get another job, she'd be able to in a country like America where it is fairly easy to go out and get a job if you put enough effort into it.

Reading Reflection

When I am reading something that I am not choosing to read such as a book required for school, it is very difficult for me to soak up what is going on. I will have read 20 pages and then realize that I have no idea what just happened because the whole time my eyes were scanning the words, my mind was somewhere else, thinking about what I need to do later that day, or the next day, or how my head hurts and what I should do about it. It has always been a problem of mine that I hoped to grow out of, but now going on 22 realize this problem probably won't be going anywhere. What helps me is if I'm in a well lit area, and in a comfortable, but not too comfortable seated position. I need copious amounts of caffeine, as well as a small snack next to me, as to not hurt my stomach with all of this caffeine. It helps if I am making notes whilst reading, so I don't forget some of these ideas that aren't important or interesting enough to me, but are important to the grade I am getting in the class. It also helps me to reflect after I have read my bit for the night if I think about why the reading material was chosen for a class. It helps me to better understand why we are all spending our time reading and analyzing the novel. I like to relate certain happenings in the readings to other novels I have read, or movies I have seen. This way, I can remember parts of the story easier when connecting them to other works that stand out to me and held a place in my heart and mind. It is wonderful when a whole class is reading the same book, this way we can all chat about the book together and see what we gain from it and with all of the perspectives, have a better understanding of the overall picture. I like to break up my time, reading also. It is good to read for an hour or so, and then get up to use the restroom, splash your face, walk outside to get a breath of fresh air. Maybe it would be nice to have a short conversation with your roommate or significant other before returning to your reading, just to get your eyes focused on different distances and sights. Sometimes I like to go on Facebook or check my e-mail, but this isn't always a good idea because I tend to get distracted this way, and will not want to get back to reading. Also this isn't good because you are not exercising the technique of switching up your viewing point, as I stated earlier. All in all, I have gradually worked on making it an easier feat for me to read required pieces from school because I have realized how important it is to force myself into understanding and soaking up the meaning behind it, for it will get me further in education and the rest of my career life.